Expand your Pleasure

Expand your pleasure

No more 5 minute disasters! Learn to delay your orgasm and enjoy great sex

How long do you last in bed?

Women regularly tell me things like:

  1. “If I show my lover how horny I really am, he will come immediately and the fun is over.”
  2. “I am fed up with guys coming within minutes after we started and expecting me to do the same.”
  3. “Men are so obsessively focused on their cocks and my pussy that they forget there are entire bodies attached to it.”

Women tell me this now, because they know I am a tantric gigolo. These women have experienced what great sex feels like, either with me or with a fellow ultimate lover. Before I started with tantra, women would not tell me this at all. This was probably because they were as clueless as I was that there is, in fact, a whole different sexual realm out there beyond the mediocre sex I had grown accustomed to.

Before the year 2013, sex to me meant being super focused on reaching my and her orgasm, preferably not too quick lest she would think I was a bad lover. ‘Not too quick’ in this case would mean that she was supposed to come first. By feverishly stimulating her clitoris, I would give it my best shot to have her orgasm before I would penetrate her with my cock. Because I knew that, once I would would do that, I would not take too long before I would come myself. The first question I often asked her after this happened was: “Did you come too?”

Perhaps some of you recognize this.

The funny thing was, I thought I was a good lover. I really did.

The 5 minute disaster 

Researchers asked 500 couples from all around the world to time themselves having sex over a four-week period - using a stopwatch. As awkward as this may sound, the results were even more embarrassing: the average time to ejaculation in the general population is 5.4 minutes

That's right. The average couple takes as much time for sex as you need to microwave your dinner. Serious freedivers can hold their breath for longer than that.

In general, we men have conditioned ourselves since our teenage years to ejaculate quickly and by ourselves, jerking off to nudie magazines, internet porn or the neighbors wife’s breasts we spotted through the hole in the fence during summertime. I know I have. We have done this so many times, that we literally wired our brains to ejaculate quickly once we start stimulating ourselves. It is with this blueprint that we start out on our sexual adventures with women. As if this isn’t bad enough, most of us keep strengthening this imprint of quick ejaculation when we have sex with real women. Nobody ever told us, let alone explain to us, that there is another way.

The 5.4 minutes is an average of all participating couples combined. There were big time differences between the couples, the average time for each couple ranging from 33 seconds to 44 minutes.

If you are close to the 44 minutes, you are probably doing a lot of things right already. But if you ejaculate within 5, 10 or even (sorry guys) 30 minutes after penetrating your lover, it will be nearly impossible for you to experience great sex the way ultimate lovers do.

Active volcano

Since 2013, I learned that most women need at least half an hour before their bodies are sufficiently turned on and ready for great sex. And that is when the real fun (and horniness) starts. Through trial and a tremendous lot of error I learnt how to effectively delay and even bypass my ejaculation. Without this skill, it turned out to be practically impossible to have sex with a fully aroused woman. Imagine your lover’s body is an active volcano blasting all her horny fire at you while you are inside of her, and you get the picture.

Of course most women can experience a clitoral orgasm faster than that if you focus on the clitoris and stimulate it directly. But this is like going to the movies, only watching one mildly exiting car chase halfway through the film, and then going back home again. Or ordering your favorite cheesecake, and getting served only the crust. If you want to settle for a quick and superficial orgasm for yourself and your lover, that is of course totally up to you. But if that is the case, UltimateLovers.com has nothing to offer you.

However, if you like to have the whole cheesecake, or if you are curious how it tastes since you have only eaten the crust up until this point, you came to the right place.

Great sex for real people

As an ultimate lover, you will

  • Be confident during sex no matter what circumstances you are in, and you will trust your body to do the right things.
  • Be able to have mindblowing sex for as long as you want, become orgasmic for minutes on end, and even experience full body orgasms.
  • Know how to touch and play with a woman’s body, and how to bring her into sexual ecstasy.
  • Use sex as a doorway to self-discovery, more authenticity, and more succes in life.

Rewiring your brain

In order to get there, you need to start with the basics. One of these is learning to delay your ejaculation. The bad news is that this requires a lot of practice. You will need to rewire your brain and your cock by using both of them in a different way during sex. The good news is that, with the proper instructions and exercises, this practice can be a lot of fun, and you will quickly experience progress.

In my experience, most men on their path of becoming ultimate lovers struggle with learning to delay their ejaculation. There are so many new skills to acquire, like learning to become fully present and let go of expectations, slowing down their movements, surprising their lover in the right way, how to use their voice, how to embrace their dark side, and so many more, that they get stuck in their heads, and forget to relax and do the things that keep them from ejaculating.

Men asked me to teach them how to do it. Women asked me if I could teach their men how to do it. So I decided it was time to create an easy tutorial with exercises, so that the beginning ultimate lovers can learn through experience how to delay their ejaculation.

I never realized how much my sex-life is intertwined with my "normal" life, how one is sort of a metaphor for the other. Tbh, the things I have learnt sexually have benefited my whole life, personally and professionally. Maybe the biggest ‘lesson’ or ‘change’ for me was learning to delay and even bypass my ejaculation. I realize now that I had been draining my sexual energy for twenty-five years or so, and learning to retain that energy, learning to own it has really made a big impact. My life turned around after I was introduced to the world of tantra and in particular my meeting with Yves. His very clear and down-to-earth guidance makes sense and does actually work. His straightforwardness gave me the feeling I could do this. And you know what, I can! What started off as "yes, better sex" (and it absolutely is), has turned into so much greater.

Lodewijk Bergkotte

If you purchase the e-course Expand your pleasure, you will get:

  • The e-book Expand your Pleasure (pdf), which includes all the basics you need to learn how to effectively delay your ejaculation, with the exercises you need to get started.
  • Information videos from me and my team to support your further in your practice.
  • Acces to the "expand your pleasure" membership forum where you can connect with fellow students, share experiences, ask questions and much more.
  • Lifetime acces to all updates, extra content and the forum.


Exclusive content from the Ultimate Lovers Men's Program, such as instruction videos from me and my team, my video logs where I share with you my personal experiences and challenges as a gigolo and ultimate lover, fragments of the ULMP e-course and future advanced e-courses that build on this program. 

I used to come early. Now I can last as long it takes. Thanks Yves!

Markus, 27, Stockholm

Your investment is €35. By doing the exercises in the e-book you will massively increase your sexual stamina, which is a prerequisite to bringing your woman to sexual ecstasy. The support videos on the member site, as well as the member forum, will help you further in your practice. Learning to delay your ejaculation will not only improve your self-confidence and strengthen your masculine leadership in bed; it will also shift your perspective on sex, and show you what great, deep sex is all about. This is one of the most important steps on the path of becoming an ultimate lover.

Don’t take my word for it, but try it out for yourself. And if you and your lover become happier and hornier in the process, be sure to let me know. Because that is what makes me happy :)