The Ultimate Lovers Blog

Sex mechanics and dynamics • Sexual education • Intimacy and connection

Vlog - How to let go of your mindfucks during sex

Mindfucks. What do you about them when you are having sex? You feel like you are playing the dead fish in the bedroom. Or you don't know what the hell you are doing and are praying that your partner or lover likes it. You get stuck in your head. You lose your presence with your partner. So how...

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How to penetrate her whole body (animation)

Men - during sex, forget about your cock and focus on touching your partner. The more you focus on your cock, the quicker you will come. Remind yourself that women’s bodies need a lot more time to warm up. Ultimate Lovers tips: Have coconut oil handy, so you can massage your partner during...

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Why eye contact makes you feel in love (animation)

A powerful tool you have to master in order to have great sex is eye contact. Eye contact is a key element of human interpersonal communication, but often during sex many people have conditioned themselves to avoid it. You may have been together for years, but admit it - how often do you really...

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How your breathing affects the flow of sexual energy (animation)

Let’s look at an animation on how your breathing affects the flow of sexual energy in your body. The way you breathe affects how sexual energy flows through your body. Short shallow breaths results in sexual tension building up too quickly. Together with too much muscle tension at the same...

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The importance of direct stimulation through the skin (animation)

Scroll halfway down to watch an animation about the direct and indirect pleasure route. How did we get so desensitized? Most of us are desensitised or even numb to a certain degree. We are heavily conditioned to use our sight above all our other senses. So it comes as no surprise that many of...

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​Try sticking a finger up his ass - The importance of setting boundaries

Recently I was having lunch with two friends, Laura and Bri. Both ladies happened to be single at that moment, one just having come out of a long term relationship. They were both exploring and enjoying their time as sensual and sexual beings, and had their fair share of sexual partners over the...

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​The art of silliness

I have seen even the most playful and lighthearted people, both men and women, change into robots as soon as they became sexual. Their facial expressions stiffen, body movements become rigid and calculated. People will touch each other without actually feeling the other, just going through the...

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The Vagus Nerve: exhaling to reduce arousal (animation)

In the following animation, we will show what role your 'vagus nerve' plays in the bedroom. The way you breathe has a big impact on your lovemaking, your capacity to experience different orgasms and orgasmic states and - take notice guys - on ejaculation control. During sex, breathing in the...

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The Parallels between BDSM and Tantra

As a medical scientist who also practices spirituality and studies psychotherapy, I am naturally drawn to studying the physical and psycho-spiritual aspects of human interaction. I am fascinated by ways in which I can explore and authentically express the light and dark aspects within myself. In...

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Why acknowledging your mistakes is so important during sex

The more you grow as an ultimate lover and the stronger your presence, vulnerability and integrity become, the easier it will be to feel into your partner. But from time to time as is the case in everything in life worth having, we will mess up or make mistakes as we learn the ropes. This is...

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