Men are like nitrogen rockets when it comes to sex. They only need a little flame, and they take off with a blast. Women, on the other hand, are more like trains that run on coal. It takes time for them to get going, but once they are heated up sufficiently, they will outlast almost any man in bed. This means that you should approach women in a totally different way when it comes to sex than what your mind is telling you. Forget about what you see in adult movies – 90% of these are totally geared to how men approach sex and provide a quick fix for you to jerk off to! They have nothing to do with the real deal. Women’s bodies need more time to warm up to the sexual mojo than men’s bodies. Don’t get disappointed with this statement however. I can guarantee you that, once you know how to put enough coals in your woman’s engine, the sex you will have with her will surpass even your wildest fantasies.

You decide the pace

Since most men start off too fast and too physical, many women have gotten used to sex that starts off too fast and too physical. So if you start off slow next time when having sex, chances are she will urge you with her moves to speed up. However, I encourage you to keep your cool and keep it slow. You are in charge, so you decide the pace. Build up the fire and sexual tension between the two of you, and see what happens.

When you do start of fast and quickly surrender to a high intensity, there is a chance that her body may close down to a certain degree, because she is just not ready for this intensity yet. If the woman can handle you touching the ground running, and within minutes you both are behaving like fornicating rabbits on a first beautiful spring day after a long cold winter, your sexual play maybe very horny indeed, but it will lack depth and become boring very quickly. (In my experience, after twenty minutes or so of this kind of approach).

Slow down during sex

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with this fast and furious rabbit-approach, and you should live this out for as long as you want to. But if you want to learn how to have incredible deep and horny sex that can go on for as long as you want, I suggest you take your time for the build-up, or slow down after, well, about twenty minutes.

When you take it slow, you give your woman the time she needs to relax and become vulnerable, to expose herself and surrender to your masculine presence. These are absolute prerequisites to get her into sexual ecstasy. Taking it slow will also create a strong longing in her body to be emotionally and physically penetrated by you. Taking your time to slowly discover her body helps both of you to let go of any performance anxiety you may have.

If your woman gets a little frustrated with you taking it slow with her, take this as a good sign. Of course, there is a sweet spot here, where her frustration still adds to her longing for you, and does not make her grow cold again and close down. If she closes down, it probably isn’t because you took it too slow, but because you didn’t take enough initiative to keep the fire burning. Slowing down doesn’t mean making slow, repetitive and boring movements.

Slow can be very intense

So the next time you get ready to rumble, remind yourself to take it easy and slow. Alternate a bit with the speed if that feels right to you, but keep coming back to the slow boogie woogie. And try this out too: when you first enter her, press into her and then hold yourself there. Embrace your lover strongly and ask her to do the same. Doing so can be a very intense and intimate sensation for your lover as it may touch upon her longing to be deeply filled and penetrated by you. No friction required. Then, after a while, slowly start moving again. In my experience, pressing into her and holding still is a 'move' that you should do often, no matter what heated circumstances you are in. Apart from being a very intimate (and horny) way of connecting, it can also buy you some time to catch your breath and move away from an imminent orgasm.

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