Do you find it difficult to look at your lover during sex? If so, you are not alone. For most people, men as well as women, it is scary to maintain eye contact while being horny and having sex. This is a shame, because keeping eye contact is perhaps the most important way of establishing and maintaining a strong connection between you and your partner.

When you keep eye contact, you feel exposed. Your inner world feels as naked as your body. And that is exactly the point. Great sex is so much more than just a few bodily sensations and a genital sneeze in the end. It involves showing yourself, becoming vulnerable on all levels, emotional as well as physical.

Seduce her to maintain eye contact

There is nothing as beautiful as a horny woman looking you straight in the eyes, while her body is in total surrender to you. To get there though takes time and practice. When you are comfortable yourself looking a woman in the eyes while having sex with her, it will make it easier for you to seduce her into maintain eye contact with you. When your woman looks you in the eyes and sees you are fully present with her, it will make it so much easier for her to trust you and sexually surrender to you.

Although eye contact is very important, don’t get too focused on it however. You don’t want to pressure her too much to open her eyes, as this may close her down more instead of helping her in her process of surrendering. For many women, closing their eyes occasionally during sex will in fact help them to connect deeper with their bodies and open up more to you.

The trick is to seduce her to make eye contact with you, not force her. Kissing her on her nose or on other parts of her face may do the trick. Or tickling her. Also creating some more distance between your upper bodies may invite a woman to open her eyes to see what is going on. Every woman is different, so try out different things.

Invite your lover to keep eye contact

Women are very sensitive and will pick up any change in rhythm or movement much quicker than men in general. A very good way to seduce your lover to open her eyes is to slow down with whatever you are doing, or even stopping your movements altogether. If doing so will not make your lover open her eyes, there is a good chance that she has gotten ‘lost’ in her sensations, or has disassociated from her body. When this is the case, ask her to open her eyes and look at you, and especially now take your time to reconnect, and take it slow with your movements and touch.

You can tell your lover how beautiful is when she looks at you, and invite her to open her eyes. You can also more directly tell her, with a soft but firm voice: “Look at me”; “I want to see you”; “stay with me.” However, be careful when you do this, and don’t do this too often. Telling her to open her eyes may cause your lover to get stuck in her head, thinking she is doing something wrong.

Make sure that once you have eye contact that you stay very present with her. When she looks you in the eyes, she wants to feel that you are there for her. You want her to feel that it is safe to surrender to your masculine, that it is safe enough to show you what is happening with her, and how vulnerable and exposed she feels.

If keeping eye contact during sex is a new practice for you or your lover, remember that learning anything new takes time. Even though this practice is vital to becoming an ultimate lover, don’t expect that the first time you consciously practice this you will lock into each others eyes and melt together in perfect harmony and bliss, leaving any fears, doubts or insecurities far behind you. It will all come in time. All you have to do is to take it slow, keep it playful and enjoy the process.

Also check out our short animation on how eye contact during sex makes you fall in love.