I often tell men that, in order to nail their lover's secret longing, they have to start venturing outside their comfort zone. They will need to try out new things during sexual play, things that turn them on. While doing this it is important that they closely watch their lover’s (bodily)...

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Nobody can ‘fall for you’ if they are gripping onto something. Anything! In this blog I am going to touch upon something which is still rather taboo. If used in a respectful and right way, physical domination can be used as a gateway to hornier and more fulfilling sex. Physical domination as a...

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In this blog post I outline 3 reasons why sharing your sexual kinks and fantasies with your lover is a vital component in bringing about deeper connections and ultimately hornier, more passionate sex for you and your lover. We have all heard the old saying ‘different strokes for different...

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One of the basic premises for good sex, and for creating a good polarity between you and a woman is that you – just as you want from her – become vulnerable. Being vulnerable has nothing to do with being weak. It is rather the opposite. Showing your vulnerability is an act of...

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Do you find it difficult to look at your lover during sex? If so, you are not alone. For most people, men as well as women, it is scary to maintain eye contact while being horny and having sex. This is a shame, because keeping eye contact is perhaps the most important way of establishing and...

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Men are like nitrogen rockets when it comes to sex. They only need a little flame, and they take off with a blast. Women, on the other hand, are more like trains that run on coal. It takes time for them to get going, but once they are heated up sufficiently, they will outlast almost any man in...

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Men and women are different. Their genetics are different. Even as embryos, men and women are already exposed to different hormones. As children, teenagers and adults, men and women are treated differently. Societal expectations influence men and women differently. All these factors contribute to...

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A pleaser is someone who acts and talks in a way he thinks will give him love, appreciation and approval from another person. This makes his actions conditional and is – to a certain extent – manipulative behavior. In his excellent book “No more mister nice guy”, dr. Robert Glover explains that a...

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I have seen it happen time and again that the man speeds up whatever he is doing during sex, because he sees his partner likes what he is doing. Guys, please don’t do that. The fact that she likes what you are doing is not an invitation to speed up. Sometimes it is even a good idea to slow down...

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Slow down everything you do in bed with about 25% of what you think is normal speed. (Some member of the Ultimate Lovers team actually say that when you start your ‘practice’ of becoming an ultimate lover you should slow down with about 50%, but I don’t want to freak you out too much). There are...

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