Date Night 3: Desires & Boundaries

Express your desires and boundaries, discover your longings & learn to give your partner a full body tantric massage.

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Most people find it very difficult to express how they like to be touched. Fortunately this is something that you can learn. In this Date Night we will guide you in developing this vital skill on your path of becoming an ultimate lover.

Saying what you like is one thing. For many people, saying what you don’t like is just as scary, yet perhaps even more important. Stating boundaries is necessary to create a safe space for sexual exploration. For many this is an unknown, and often uncomfortable, concept. During this Date Night you will learn how to do this in playful ways. It is time to learn how to speak up.

Welcome Video

Watch this video for a sneak preview of Date Night 3

"It helped us connect in softness with each other"

"We had a very relaxing evening! We find it difficult at times to schedule connection time with each other, as we both have busy lives. But after watching your welcome video, I really got in the mood for the date nights. I loved preparing the play space! The demonstrations, set in tropical surroundings, are stunning. Following the clear instructions and doing the exercises really helped us stepping out of our normal patterns. I have never given a guided massage before, and I really enjoyed doing it. And my boyfriend loved receiving it 😉. The date nights’ structure really helped us connect in softness with each other."

- Cindy, Rotterdam, the Netherlands



✓ Combine movement, breath and visualisation to create a circular flow of energy between your bodies
✓ Learn to express your boundaries and create a safe space for erotic exploration
✓ Learn to ask for exactly what you want
✓ Learn a step by step full body Tantric massage
✓ Learn about these essentials of Tantric lovemaking:

    • The importance of touching each other for your own ‘selfish’ pleasure
    • How and why we should make sounds in the bedroom
    • Including the whole body in your lovemaking
    • How to have sex without a goal (without ejaculating)

(Click here if you want to check out the other Date Nights.)




We will show you how to get ready for each Date Night. We start by creating a sexy space.

We’ll show you how to use lighting, music and food to create a full sensual experience.

Then we will show you how to get in the mood on the days leading up to the Date Night.


In this breath work exercise, we will combine movement, breath and visualisation in order to create a circular flow of energy between your bodies. This exercise will help you to relax and energise your body, and get more connected and aligned with each other.

They say energy flows where attention goes, so Yves will show you exactly how to focus your attention to conduct sexual energy.


Before every exercise, your instructor Yves will explain the goal and relevance of the exercise with theoretical background. We have also included animations to show you what happens in your body on a scientific level as well as an energetic level during the different exercises.


It’s time to do a playful exercise for you to learn how to recognise and express your boundaries.

One of the Ultimate Lovers essentials is to allow yourself to become vulnerable. You do this by noticing your desires, and expressing them, either verbally by asking for what you want, or physically, by acting out what you want. But you will only feel safe enough to do this if you are sure that your partner is able to fully express their boundaries.

When a boundary is clearly defined and respected, you don’t need walls, so you create a safe space for both of you to become vulnerable. If your partner cannot give you a full ‘NO’, they cannot give you a full ‘YES’ either. Without clearly defined boundaries, the distinction becomes confusing.

For some of you, this exercise may be fun and challenging at the same time. Recognising and expressing boundaries is not something we are taught at school. But you will find out that the more you do this exercise the easier it will get, both inside and outside the bedroom!.

"It felt like our own private workshop"

Doing the date night’s exercises and sharings with each other helped bring a depth of connection to our sexual play that we hadn’t experienced before. We never realised just how passionate we could look at each other. Or how much energy we could move through the other’s body with just our hands alone. Yves showed us how we could connect with each other by not only using our hands and bodies, but also our breath. This not only made our bodies much more sensitive. It also fired up our desires big time!

We would say that Tantric Date Nights should be the starter kit for everyone who longs for a deep sexual and sensual connection with their partner.

Yves’ explanations, as well as the beautiful demonstrations of the exercises, massages and tantric experiments, were very inspiring. It felt like we had our own private workshop where everything was slowed down and talked about in a way that made it safe to share whilst also being sexy and fun.

Thank you Yves!

- Santa and James, London, United Kingdom


In this next exercise, we will work on recognising and verbally expressing your desires. Asking your partner for exactly what you want is something many people find difficult.

Our desires can change from moment to moment. Sometimes what you asked for ten seconds ago doesn’t reflect anymore what is really alive in you right now.

This exercise is all about noticing and valuing what you want in any given moment, and articulating it. Whether this is a kiss on the cheek, a slap on the bum, or a compliment about how beautiful your breasts are.


In order to keep things from getting too serious, we will provide you with fun and light exercises to reset yourselves in between all the main practices.

In the Tantric Date Nights, you will be working intensively with your bodies. You will learn everything you need to learn through bodily imprints. To be embodied means to be fully present in your body during sex. It’s about feeling your body fully and connecting with your senses, instead of being stuck in your head or your genitals.

In order to improve embodied awareness, and to learn from and understand each other, you will need to learn how to share your experience with each other. In this Date Night, we will guide you through this sharing process.


In order to become an ultimate lover and learn how to tune in to both yourself and your partner, you will need to resensitise your touch and your body, so you can have full feeling from head to toe. Working on your sensual touch, which doesn’t necessarily mean soft, is probably the most important element of these Tantric Date Nights. Most people have limited understanding and experience of how to touch another person in a way that opens up the body and raises the sexual energy.

To help you with this, we have included a beautiful massage in every Date Night. In tonight’s massage exercise we will take you by the hand and demonstrate and teach you the first part of a tao erotic full body massage.

This Date Night the woman will massage the man’s back side. All you have to do is watch Ester and copy her moves as her hands glide over Yves’ body.

In the fourth Date Night, Yves will massage Ester’s front side. The third and fourth Date Night's massages together create a beautiful, deep and complete massage of the whole body. These massages can be used for both men and women, so you can always swap and try both on each other.


A the end of this date night, we encourage you to stay connected and continue playing with each other. After all the beautiful work you’ve done over the past couple of hours, you may now take full advantage of how sensitive your touch and body feels.

Before we say goodbye, we will leave you with three tried and tested tips and one fun sexperiment for you to try in your sexual play.

Join us on this journey through the heart, mind, body and senses. We will show you how to unlock your true potential as a sexual being and how to take your sexual play to levels it’s never reached before.

"She said it felt like she had just received a massage by a pro"

First thing that really hit me were the beautifully filmed demonstrations of the exercises, filmed in a chic honeymoon setting. These are simply jaw-dropping. I liked the balanced mix of background information, hands-on exercises and practical tips. This made our first steps in exploring tantra fun and easy. But really, what we have learnt feels much more comprehensive than what we expected ‘tantra’ to be.

The exercises - seemingly simple at first - gave me some great insights in how I could better and more intimately connect with my wife. We both learned valuable lessons on how we could avoid pleasing behaviour. This not only impacted our sex life for the better, but also how we met each other outside of the bedroom. Another one of these things that helped improve our connection with each other but even more so with ourselves, was learning to voice our desires and stating our boundaries. It is kind of weird that neither of us had ever really been taught how to do this, come to think of it. I wish I had known all this before.

Finally: I just loved improving my massage skills. The instructions were clear, and copying the strokes on screen was fun to do. My wife said it felt like she had just received a massage by a pro. Repeating her favorite massage just a few times made me confident enough to do it on my own. The massage only got better, since now I can focus even more on how she responds to the massage 😁. The date nights’ structure really helped us connect in softness with each other.

- Arnout, Sydney, Australia

This course is closed for enrollment.

Frequently Asked Questions

When does the course start and finish?
The course starts as soon as you subscribed! It is a completely self-paced online course - you decide when you start and when you finish. Yes, we build it for 4 nights and advice to do 1 evening every 1 or 2 weeks, but you are free to choose your own pace.
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How does lifetime access sound? After enrolling, you have unlimited access to this course for as long as you like - across any and all devices you own.
What if I am unhappy with the course?
We would never want you to be unhappy! If you are unsatisfied with your purchase, contact us in the first 15 days and we will give you a full refund.